When
you live an upper middle class lifestyle, you get kind of used to not having to
scratch for your dinner or worry about where you will lay down your head at
night. That was my family, just four short months ago. We lived in a very nice
neighborhood on the outskirts of a sprawling American city and had 3 beautiful
kids ages 8,11 and 13. We had a 3500 square foot house, hot tub, game room, Jen
Air stove and a pantry the size of a third world home. I often thought of that
when I went in to retrieve my breakfast cereal each morning. I would even close
the pantry door and turn around, imagining what it would be like to sleep three
deep each night in that space. The thought made be shudder, and I would quickly
open the door and take a quick twirl around my spacious kitchen, grateful for
all I had. However, it is not until you are without that truly realize just how
much you once had. Grateful takes on a whole new meaning. This is what happened
to us….
My
husband held down a decent job in a midsize company where he was in charge of
logistics. I was never really quite sure what he did, only that he got a lot of
phone calls at all hours of the night and spent an excessive amount of time in
planning meetings. I had not worked sine we were first married and elected,
instead, to stay home and fulfill my responsibilities of homemaker and mother
the best I knew how. Life was much like any other American home I suppose with
activities for the kids, neighborhood social commitments and routinely busy
schedules to juggle.
The
day I got the phone call from my husband that he had been “let go” from his job
was the day that the ball began to unwind. Had I been so busy that I had not
seen this coming? Apparently, I had no idea of what my husband had been doing
or how he had been juggling two completely different lives at one time. I never
thought that he was that great of a multitasker. When the news of his release
came out in its entirety, it was amazing to me. For four years, my husband had
been engaging in some sort of money laundering business and was now caught,
fired and facing a term in jail. Wow, talk about a shock. I went from baking
cookies for the local bazaar one day to being married to a criminal. Because my
husband had used our home for collateral on all sorts of loans and other
financial agreements, we lost it almost immediately. He had also drained our
entire savings and retirement accounts unbeknownst to me.
Flash
forward four months… One thing led to another, and the kids and I ended up at
the local homeless shelter almost four months to the day from when I learned of
my husband’s shady business dealings. We have tried very hard to maintain a
sense of pride while I struggle to take classes at the community college to get
a decent paying job. The kids are close enough to their old school that they
can still go; however, they struggle with what to tell friends and how to cope
with the massive change in their life. We downsized until we had nothing left,
sold what we could and are doing the best to move forward. Every night before I
go to sleep I am grateful for the roof over my head and the room I share with
my three children, that is about the size of the pantry I once had.
Never
say never, and never get too comfortable. What happened to us could happen to
anyone!
About the Author: Susan Patterson is a writer and homeschool mother who
researches and writes about social service issues. She recently wrote an article
about the benefits of social services software.
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